I remember the days when I had thought that I would never be like my parents. When were young, we believe we will be something great, something better, something far beyond what we have lived.
As the years pass I see my mother in me more and more each day. I see her facial expressions, I hear her laughter, I feel her struggles, I see her for the first time. I finally understand. How could this be when I have spent years telling myself she had no clue, she didn’t understand, we are not the same. This holds the same with my father to whom I had so many questions. I finally see where they have come from, where they have been, and what they have struggled through in their lives.
As we get older we blame, we dwell, and we hold on to those things that soil our heart. We believe we know it all, we judge, we think that we would have done it different then they have, but who’s to say this is true. Who’s to say that given the same situation, the same stumbles, and the same challenges we might have done better. I have already experienced moments that I swore I would never experience. I have failed as they have and I have succeeded as they have, just in a different way.
To my mother: I thank her for her wisdom. She taught me so much growing up. She made sure that I listened so that I could make good choices. I thank her for her humor, her struggles, her ability to push through anything. I thank her for teaching me to be strong, to be independent, and to go after all that I desire with much strength and confidence. She taught me to never except less then I deserve, to never give up, and to be honest in all of my endeavors. She even taught me things that she didn’t mean to teach. I learned a lot from watching her. She is my strength, she is my wisdom.
To my father: I thank him for the warmth that he showered over me throughout all of my years. I thank him for being over protective because he saved me, I thank him for being too strict because he taught me, and I thank him for being loving because he showed me. I never drifted because he never let me. He taught me kindness from being kind, and forgiveness from being forgiving. He is the warmth that I carry around all of my days. He taught me to care and to love.
Thank You both! Thank you for who you made me to be and for all the years you did your best. For all the moments you made me smile and for all the goodness that flows from you into me and on to my children. Thank you for giving me the sweetest gift.
I have never been one of those who dwelled much over the past, but I have had my moments and I am sure I will have more. My greatest light is understanding why the people around me are the way they are. If I can understand I can appreciate.